Patience? um... ok.

These past couple of weeks have been very turbulent for me. I have had to confront things that I do not understand. I have been on a constant cycle between anger and sadness and there seems to be no end in sight. Although that sounds so hopeless, it is far from how I feel about where I am at. In light of my situations and circumstances I am desperately seeking what truths God is reinforcing within me. Here is the clencher... it's patience. Oh to be patient when you want to act out on emotions and reactions. This concept of love has been prevalent in the things I have been learning. It is the undercurrent for everything and this time it carries the teaching of patience. So here I have been trying to understand how this all ties in, learning how to embrace it and not just for my peace of mind but for something bigger, more significant, something that actually has everything to do with Christ. My pastor said this, "The admonition for good behavior is not to escape persecution and not for an esteem boost but for a greater purpose."

Titus 3 has really driven this home for me this past week and a half. It focuses a lot on behavior, how we are to respond and react to people around us."Speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people." (vs. 2) Everyone of those examples are hard, especially when volatile emotions are involved. But there they are, in plain black and white... how can I do that? First, we are reminded of who and what we were before Christ, "For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating everyone." (vs. 3) Oh, but there is deep beauty in scripture because it goes on, not to tell you how, but why you should act the way verse 2 described. "But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he SAVED US, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Sprit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according the hope of eternal life." (vs.4)

Verse 4 is why we should act this way and it guides us into action. This is the reason we are able to show compassion and mercy and forgiveness and love. It is because these things have been richly poured out on us. How can we not be moved by something of such epic proportions? And something of such epic proportions will undoubtedly have some side effects.They will look like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self- control. This scripture reminds us of who we were and of the salvation that we were granted in that state. I have been granted salvation and hope! I love the word hope. I cling to it with a ferocious grip. It is what drives me to act in patience and gentleness and self- control especially when things feel out of control around me. I am far from doing this perfectly or well even, especially with patience, it requires a lot of silence at times and that is very difficult! Whatever the end result of situations and circumstances and the things I must endure, God is my refuge. I pray that we as believers, as those who claim that Jesus has reign in our lives, that we are producing evidence of what we've been granted to those around us, in every aspect of our lives. For me, it must be in patience. And you? What is it for you?