All The Days Of My Life

I've been reflecting on this past year of my life over the last few weeks, mulling over where i've been and what i've done. It's so strange to be coming upon another birthday again, as if it is a surprise... It comes on the same day every year! Yet here I am, a little stunned to be adding another year to life. Sometimes I just want to make life stop so I have some time to enjoy my treasured moments a little more. But life isn't meant to stop, it's meant to be lived, to seek God and love well while you're living it. And truthfully, I don't want to be stagnant in this season in my life. There is so much to learn, so much to become, working towards a career, and whispers of dreams of marriage and babies someday. I look forward to the way life unexpectedly unfolds and moves you forward whether you're ready or not. I rest in the fact that while I don't see it coming, God does. He always does! Knowing this is an unbelievable comfort to me!

When I think back to everything that transpired through the past year I can be nothing less than thankful. And thankful doesn't feel like a strong enough word for it. This past year felt so very short, but my heart has grown by 10 times I think. From moments of complete and utter happiness to sinking into deep mire. Taking the risk of investing in others left chips and cracks in my heart, but God restores in such a beautiful way. Through it all, through moments when I felt so broken and helpless and those in which I felt confident and sure, there has only been one constant, God is faithful. God has been faithful in his discipline when I've been caught up in sin. He has been faithful to comfort and sustain when I had nothing left. He has been faithful to soften my heart and incline it towards him. In everything he has been faithful and he has made his grace and mercy evident in everything and in every way.

So today, as I celebrate being granted another year of life I am weighted with an indelible gratitude for who I've been surrounded with in my life. My crazy, beautiful and loving family whom I love so deeply. A guy who, for reasons I still don't understand, chooses to stand by me throughout this crazy time in life and is striving for Godliness in his life. For the most amazing circle of friends who encourage me, push me, and love me and bring so much laughter into my life. For a beautiful and intentional body of Christ that I am so blessed to be in community with and that shares and teaches me so much. When I look at it this way, how can I dare to complain! "One thing have I asked of the Lord, that I will seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple." All the days of my life, this is my prayer, my desire and what I hope my life reflects.